In the last 4 yrs, i think i've matured so much that I started learning to pay attention to more people and appreciate the smaller things I've come to know off.

When i was in sec and poly, i didnt care much abt the ppl i met in school.. probably i was ignorant with abit of attitude problem and heck care attitude. I got angry easily, especially when ppl i love gets bullied. I have this angsty attitude and i didnt seemed to care about ppl esp acquaintances and ppl that r just hi-bye to me. Come to think of it, those were one of the periods where we make friends that would usually last a lifetime. Probably the main reason i could think of, was that i was going through a tough time at home and didnt know how not to be angry with things happening ard me. Gradually i've learnt to let go of the unhappy things and look more on the bright side. I think i've been rather optimistic. Lucky to have met ppl like d6, the netballers where i still keep in contact, my poly gang and ppl who puts in effort to be my friend after my younger days.

In uni, i didnt have an IS clique unlike everyone else in my IS school. I just dun click with most of them, so i most definitely think i got off to a wrong start in my first 2 years. I was doubtful and apprehensive towards most ppl, which is probably y i didnt have very close IS uni friends now. But luckily in year 3 and 4, i started not to care so much abt what ppl do, and care more abt wat i can do. I think this sparked the little change. started caring and showing interest in ppl whom i'd like to be friends with for a lifetime. Nice pple like maoyuan, edwin, jialing, e S1CS gang - sharon, june, etc etc. And of coz my biz school clique. Biz ppl are nice to hang out with. They really know how to enjoy and have fun.. I can say that coz I secretly wanted to be a biz student when I applied for 5MU but 4 yrs later I think i'm better off in IS. I do feel lucky to have met some of the nicest ppl in uni, like clarence, xuehui, dave, june, & mitch. Each of the gatherings with them are really like family gatherings. We do family kinda activities like steamboat, bbq, clubbing, drinking at one another's place, and they absolutely love mahjong (although i always do not turn up).

b4 my dear junnie left for japan, she wrote me a letter and it made me tear. I didnt realise that there is this positive energy that could encourage her and might be handy in helping her get thru tough times. Perhaps she was aware of wat happened to me from pri school to my uni days, and that added marks to my motivating story. Thanks for the letter junnie, it means alot alot to me. Really hope u're doing well in Japan now.

Of coz, there are also disappointing times where u felt that u have put in effort and the recieving party is not exactly reciprocating. It takes a few tries to finally give up and let go of such pple. I'm gonna leave it to fate to work out the rest for me, for those that I've really given a chance and felt that it was time wasted. They appear are highly selective in terms of friends and I sincerely do wish them all the best despite the things that they have done. Guess they were not worth the effort all along.

Recently I've discovered the power of taking a genuine and sincere interest in people. When I'm engaged in that mode, its easy to talk abt what i really feel and get the message across. I've also recently just finish reading the l4st lecture by R. P4usch.. and two of my fav lessons in the book talks about brick walls and anger.

1. brick walls are there for a reason, for u to show how badly u want something.
2. If u're angry with a person, it means u havent been patient enuf for them to show their kind side.

With these wise words, its a test of my patience. It brings my understanding of people i meet to a new level. Hope i will have the courage and patience to tear down brick walls that are extreme and out to make ur life difficult. Together with my new found attitude of sincerity, I hope i can overcome the more difficulties, and hopefully survive better in the corporate world.

Of all the ppl i've met, I really cherish each and everyone of them. Esp friends who really go an extra mile to help me out/ doing special things for me, or even just spending time hearing me rant. Entering a new phase in life, I hope to meet really nice friends at work too.

okay, bedtime.

Labels: lessons, life