had a dream last nite, abt 2 person that were rather special to me..
miss the person whom spoke to me in my dream. Was kinda weird, coz i was laughin at wat she said.. the other, was readin a mag with me, n somehow i feel kinda peaceful with her ard. 

i'm startin to hate my family. Pls tell me not to. I really cannot stop blamin my mum for wat she did lately. she hasnt been comin home, sort of dun do anything n its really irritating me.
i dun feel like callin her anymore, n the way she toks to me is as if nothing is wrong.
 
some hospital wants to sue her, coz she was the guarantor for the handicapped uncle. bills total to abt $3k. told her i saw the letter, but she said nvm, let the hosp sue (n wat?bring lots of trouble?).
i'm really tired of the things she is doin. n yesh, my grandma agrees with me totally.
mayb dx is right, wat ever my mum does, she neva thoroughly think things thru.
i duno. she broke off with a uncle of 1 yr plus, to be with someone she knew for abt 1month? wats happening? n the new fella doesnt seem to help out with my family. my bills. etc.

i wanna get something for myself when i get my first pay. was thinkin whether to help clear some bills that r totallin up in my house? probably i'll pay my hp n starhub SCV thingy first. perhaps i'll help dear to settle some of his hp bills. think after all this, i wun have more then $100 left. =( nvm, i wait for nxt month's pay again. i feel useless sometimes, not workin n rotting whole day at home. luckily my dad is there for me, at least he will give me $$ whenever i ask from him. It's not like mum's not givin me any allowance. but i juz dun wanna ask from her.. coz she still has many things to pay.  juz dun wnn add to her burden anymore.

sometimes i'm fcukin tired of being the gd daughter, who always does wat she asks. its not like she ask me to do bad things. but its juz i'm tired of juz being quiet all the time, n not ask her to fcukin make up her mind abt wat she is thinking. how she wanna lead her life, its totally up to her. juz hope she will be happy with wat ever decision she has made. stupid things juz keep on coming every now n then. makes me fcuking tired. i really quit n wash my hands off the things happenin ard me. all the stupid adults, think ur so smart. fcuking inconsiderate.

I blogged alittle too much today. abit more then wat i should say. i'm tired. shall slp early, work tomoro, training too. hope i survive tomoro's training. coz its gonna be tough yeah. my ankle still alittle swollen. hope it doesnt swell tomoro. shld be recovering.

i kinda hope some fella out there, be it friends or wat, can steal all my problems away. like wat abi said, no relationship is perfect. its absolutely true. if there ever is one, it will b too boring for anyone to sustain. hope everyone wif problems can learn to take things in its stride, learn to let go of those things dat u think were really significant once in ur life, or at least learn to see things in a broader, different mindset. juz hope anybody readin this would learn something. if i cun help myself, juz hope i can encourage others. i dun tell him(dx) abt my family problems anymore, coz i dun wan him to be worried in a way. he's stress with work as well. n he doesnt complain abt a single thing to me. work is tough yeah, n he once told me that i was his motivation dat keeps him goin. its kinda sweet, the things he would say, or do, although he's not very romantic. all of this sweet little actions sort of make up for that. he's always been askin if i hav enuf to spend, n i hav been v honest to him. i dun wanna add to his burden as well. although he has been payin for every single thing that we have been doing. movies, dinner, petrol, etc.

i miss the presence of someone in my life. if i was ever demanding, or askin too much, i apologise. i definitely wun expect things to be the same. things i've said when i was feelin really agitated, hope u can understand. juz felt dat it was rather coincidental that u spoke to me juz when things went wrong. but its ok. i've actually remembered some of the things u said unknowingly. perhaps u were right. sensitive is a lousy excuse. dun hope u were readin this. everyone can stop guessing who this person is. no need to ask, coz its someone none of u know.

PEACE. gd nite everyone. hope i dun get fat from all the eatin i've done recently.